Luke and Ellen came over for roast pork and fried apples, mashed potatos, gravey and Greek salad tonight... yummmmyyy

 

We had a really nice visit.  They stayed until just after midnight... so we wish happy new year 24 hours early... who knows we might be in bed tomorrow night... I am off now...

 

Carole... I am leaving for Michigan Jan 12 coming Jan. 14... in time to teach... Worked on my syllibus today... got my materials class done, but need to check it tomorrow... went for a walk and ran up the hill again, but not showing offf I reached the top breathing heavy not gasping for air... tee hee  Lakota, yes Radf-ord is interesting... Cee see you on the flip side...

 

Hope you have a great day tomorrow.  And Happy New Year!!!!  Love and kisses, Marilyn

Nicole and Kristin had dinner at my house... It was so nice.  I really missed seeing Kristin for the last 18 days... and today she is off to London to do New Years with her childhood friend Terese.  She comes back January 12th. 

 

I made plane reservations to see my client in Michigan on the weekend starting January 12th... I have collected photograph, samples and drawings of her new house and need to interact with her.  I got a really cheap air fare... so that was good. Hope it doesn't make me too tired.  It will be good to work on a project this winter... Let my creative juices flow.  

 

Figured out that school starts a week earlier at Rad-ford than I am used to at Virgi-nia Tech so I am going to spend today getting ready for classes.  Writing syllubi and updating schedules. I work up at 7:30 and decided to get up since I need to get accustomed to getting up for and 8:00 class... think I need to go to bed at 10:00.  It has been years since I had t set an alarm to get up... I cannot belive what a luxury that is to not set an alarm.   

 

Hope your day goes well. Love and kisses, Marilyn

I couldn't get into the edit part of this blog... I tried five times... finally I went to add a comment to let you all know I was still alive and it got into edit mode that way... gggrrrrreeeeehh!

 

Busy day today.  No work.  Had back up appointment with my Doctor at 9:45... everything seems fine, he wants me to take progesterine for a while... seems my insides are bigger or is that thicker... than they should be... Not cancer just polips or some kind of thickening... anyway, I will take pills for and month and they will check it again...  I need the print out of what he said to look stuff up. 

 

Came home, Norman helped my reassemble my dinner room table, (he made it for me two years ago and the glass is really heavy to do by my self) so my house is back together... still need to dust and clean my kitchen and bathroom floors. 

 

School starts again January 8th so I need to prepare stuff for my classes... guess I will do that tomorrow. 

 

After my doctors app... I saw the Chiropractor and will get a early massage in a few minutes. Because I have to pick Kristin up at the airport at 4:00... then we are going shopping...  and probably to dinner... Hope your day is good.   Love and kisses, Marilyn

About my missed tour to India over Thanksgiving break.  I missed it because I did not get my Visa until five days after I was supposed to leave... For the tour of Delhi, Agra, and Jaipur and the airfare inside India I am going to get a 75% refund... So basically I lost $1,050.00 on the whole trip... 375.00 for airfare to India, 138. for shots, 117 for anti malarial and cir-po drugs, 334. for the tour and airfare inside India.  Not bad and it could have been much worse... That is like losing a month and a half of work at my measily income, but as I said before, what broke my heart was not being able to go to the wedding of my dear friend Vidya and Arul. To see an Indian wedding of someone you love in India would have been totally amazing...  But we are already making plans to go together to her sisters wedding... sometime in the future.  (the husband is not even in the prospects right now)

 

I think that there might be something wrong with me... I seem to be sleeping all of the time... (that is a joke) but I am sleeping a lot.  I got to bed at 11:00 and get up at 9:00 or 9:30.. and then seem to need a nap in the late afternoon or evening... hmmm Maybe I am proving to myself that I am not a spring chicken... even if I am a college student.  [I am going to be really sad when I can't say that any more... I love being so unique as to be a college student in my mid fifites...] Anyway last night... I couldn't stay awake while reading a for pleasure book after dinner so took a short nap (that turned out to be and hour and a half waking up at 8:00pm)... when I went to bed that night... I went right to sleep... hmmmm must still be tired from the end of school.  There have only been two days that I have not napped since school got our on December 12.

 

My writing is going well, sort of I am on my seventh day of my introduction... should be wrapping it up today... to sit and simmer for a couple of days then be revised again... I saw the chair of my committee at the grocery store last night... We talked for forty five minutes and I told her where I was in the process.  She was amazingly civil to me... after what happened in the fall.  I just pretended that nothing had happened and reported in as normal.  I have not seen her since mid October.  She asked that I get the work to her after editing that I have been working on over break, as soon as school starts.  I hope to have four chapters and maybe Virginia to her... if I can get this darn introduction finished...  Have a great day.  Love and kisses, Marilyn            

I took these from another sight they fit me today...

 

"We all need somebody to talk to. It would be good if we talked . . . not just pitter-patter, but real talk. We shouldn't be so afraid, because most people really like this contact; that you show you are vulnerable makes them free to be vulnerable." Lil Ullmann

 

This is totally me as a college student...

"The woman's vision is deep reaching, the man's far reaching. With the man the world is his heart, with the woman the heart is her world." Betty Grable

 

So is this...

"Integrate what you believe into every single area of your life. Take your heart to work and ask the most and best of everybody else." Meryl Streep

 

and this...

 

I didn't know movie stars could be profound... Another said something about smiling... especially to your family... I smile at everyone .. brightens their day and mine.. Off to work... Love and kisses, Marilyn

Until 10:00 am... mmmmm felt so decadant.  I was tried last night.  I didn't take a nap yesterday so needed my beauty sleep. 

 

I have been copyin my blog posting over the years because I am sure at some time they may disappear... and I use this to document my journey of graduate school.  Or at least since I discovered it, and started writing two years ago, which was a year and a half into the process.  So when I went to copy this last three months I noticed that it wasn't getting the first part of the month... when I looked back I found it has missed almost all of the frist ten days of the month... that is a third of my posting... and a lot of my life gone... after a little finiggeling I finally found how to find the missing pages so spent the night re-copying my postings on to my computer... and I now think I have most of my life for the last two years saved... Why if I ever wanted to write a book about my life as a college student, third visitation... I have the documentation to do that...

 

Revised my introductory chapter yesterday... and got my oil changed... Hope your day was good.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

It is so hard in today's world to be able to slow down enough to relax and be able to reflect on the world and our place in it.  School has allowed that to happen to me... or at least on vacations have allowed that... as if I were really taking a vacation... but writing also has a way of inspiring to write and think more... I think if I read Wald-n Po-d now, I might be able to understand the value of solitude and contemplation.  We rush around so much that we can't think, we can't do more than brush by thoughts and we tumble onto another. 

 

Peace fills me right now... I guess I know in life there can be so much pain, pain inflicted by circumstance but also pain inflicted by others... purposeful pain... Maybe some of the frantic pace we do to ourselves is to not let the pain catch up with us... One of the hardest things I have ever done in my life is to not allow my parenst to inflict their brand of pain on my any more... I get my always trying to please from their insessant demand to be more... and the terrible competitiveness between me and my siblings...

 

My sister Marci bridged that gap in our lives, because she was so much younger... that for my sister Connie and I was like she was a daughter... but she still tried to compete with us.. which was hard for her.. and our parents used this against her... To all of our detriments, when she passed away.  That is a pain that has not lessen, but become more... more what... bearable... maybe it is my belief that she is still in my heart and with me in some unfathomable way... 

 

I am too tired to write more tonight... maybe I will finish this tomorrow. 

 

Love and kisses, Marilyn

One of my students who graduated last year dancing... at a recital ... WOW Jessica... you are terrific... so is your partner... Love, Marilyn

 
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8324785221622415796&hl=en

Well, I got all my dishes done from last night.  Cleaned the kitchen... Heated up my coffee... read some blogs of my old friend (family's responses to stuff can be interesting) and checked my email... so I guess it is time to get to work.  Wish me luck... Love and kisses, Marilyn 

 

PS Lakota Clay was talking about what surprising events she had on Christmas Eve and Christmas meals with friends...

 

I have found that so many people watch television and the suppos'id happiness of everyone else over the holidays... and almost celebrate what it lacking in their life... rather than celebrating what we have.... something as simple as breaking bread with a friend can fill your heart with joy... That is if you arn't too busy going... I am missing this that or the other thing... 

 

So many relationships are unique from the "norm" (as depicted on tv) why not celelbrate what we have....   

 

I had been married for thirty one years when I left Michigan to come to Virginia to grad school... Before that I spent many Christmas' alone beceause he had to work as a security guard... And in the last years, we had grown so remote as a couple that even when we were together, we weren't... It is the saddest thing to say that I did not miss my husband when I went away to school.

 

But, when I came down here I collected as many friends together as I could as a antidote to being alone.  I now live alone, and am much happier than when I was married to someone remote and judgmental.  I love my house and the solitude I have here, but know that any time I need to talk I can call any number of friends and go for a walk, to the movies, or to dinner... and what is amazing is... my friendship also brightens their lives... and having Tao and Eric to my house for a feast yesterday... was a celebration of friendshp and joy of life. 

 

But more importantly, even being alone two years ago when I had to cancelled Christmas my celebration, because of a sore throat... you can still celebrate god's gift and her bounty, alone.  Being alone can (and maybe should) be celebrated too. 

 

Sorry had to get that off my chest... I have a friend here that I had to give up on this last year, because she was so grasping and stiffeling because of her fear of being alone...  She had been widowed 14 years before I arrived...  It was almost that she celebration of her loneliness rather than getting together in friendship.... I feel badly that I had to push her away, but her lonliness even when she was with me, was overwhelming my joy for life.  Hmmmm

 

l hope that you found some joy in this season of overindulgence and gluttony... Peace, Marilyn

Tao and Eric came to dinner this afternoon.  We had a delightful time... turkey wasn't ready so we ate the Chinese dumplings (Eric made) as appitizers... then went on to turkey, cranberry sauce, stuffing, mashed potatoes (Tao made) and gravy, bean casserole, cauliflower, yum yum... frozen bread... then we also had jam turnovers (Tao made), christmas pressed cookies, (Tao and Eric made) and apple/appricot brown betty.... hmmm I think I covered it all, maybe not.... Then after we ate, we watched Its a Won-derful Life.  Tao had never seen it.  Eric and I both got choaked up at the end.  Then they went home... I took a nap. 

 

Ellen called and Luke was still sick... really sick with the big flu... has been in bed for three days... he was upset that he hadn't done anything for Christmas because he wasn't expecting to get sick... so she came over and we exchanged gifts... and to get a break from the sick room... and I gave her my left overs and took them home to feed them.  Wow double duty... I still have a ham and sweet potatoes, bean casserole.. so have lots to eat. 

 

Hope your day was lovely too.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

Have a wonderful Christmas... This is a heart felt wish for peace.

 

I just opened my gifts... I don't know how Santa knew what I needed... (well he had help since I bought and wrapped the gifts for me)... Tee Hee... So no surprises, but it was nice to get a black sweater, pretty soft blue sweater shirt, two new nightgowns, bubble bath, a boxed set of DVDs, macadamia nuts, a small cutting board, and wash rags for the kitchen... Santa knew what I liked!

 

Listening to Christmas Carols and getting ready to cook.  Oh how I love to cook for people! I want to get carried away, but Tao told me not to... might anyway... Tee hee...  Hope your day is full of wonder.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

May you have a wonderful day celebrating with your friends or family or even just by yourself.

 

I had a delightful day today... tried to work on my dissertaton, but my brain wouldn't register what I was reading... so finished most of my cards, finished wrapping gifts.  Read on the front porch in the sun.  Took a nap, made Itali-an Fondu for dinner had it with a glass of red wine... yum yum.  Took a bath, watched Be-ll, Book, and Can-dle and Its a Wond-erful Life... yet again... all in all a really nice day...  all by my self... Funny how my life feels fuller now that I am alone, than when I was married and spending many holidays alone. 

 

Have a wonderful day. 

 

Love and kisses, Mairlyn

I went out for a walk yesterday, it was so beautiful and my brain quit working...

 

And as I started up this big hill by my house (I like to run up it to really get my heart rate up)...

 

Well, my mail man came around the corner, just before I normally start running...  so I started my run ten strides early, and I added some speed to my more normal slogging pace... to show off what good condition I am in... hmmm vanity... By the time I got half way up the hill I was starting to labor... but I kept going... by the time I got near to the crest of the hill, he had turned off to deliver on a different street, but I couldn't stop until I got to the top of the hill (that athlete in me)... I did the last push... By the time I crested the hill... and could stop... I thought I was going to die... I bent over gasping for air and holding my side and then my heart... started coughing... and the wind was quite brisk there at the top of the hill took what little breath I had, away... It took me another half a mile of walking to calm my beating heart, my cough, and my pride.  Yeekkkksss only proved that I am not in as good as condition as I thought...

 

Luckily, he had gone around the corner before I stopped running, so didn't see my almost collaspe... I still have a slight cough two hours later... Oh the vanity of us... I took a hot bath last night after my massage, (worked on my feet) and am not too sore today... think I need to do that hill more often... Cheers, Marilyn 

Here it is the day before Christmas. and I am sitting on the sofa with coffee watching Su-nday Morn-ing.  Yesterday I wrote for a few hours... I am at the point of confusion... what do I throw out... what do I keep.  I sort of vomited out my new introduction... which is pretty amazing writing, but how do I fit it with what I wrote for my proposal... (which outlined what I was going to do in my dissertation)... And do I even need to use the proposal language now that I have almost completed all my research?

 

I was orginally thinking that I would not have to write an introduction for my dissertation, but just revise what I had written previously for my proposal ... Now in an outpouring of all the things that I have learned over the last three and a half years..  thought about...and talked about... and organized... it sort of flowed out of me for the last few days. Now I don't know how to fold it into what I wrote before... I may just have to junk the proposal.... since I have written it all new again, but in a new positive light...

 

I need Elizebeth to clarify for me (once again)... What is an introduction to the dissertation?  I can hear her now...  

 

An introduction tells the reader what this dissertation is about.  It outlines the problem.  Establishes the question.  It tells the methods used to gather the research.  It defines the researchers bias. It tells the reader what is coming in each chapter or section.  It outlines the findings.  It summerizes the results...  Wow, thank you Elizabeth... I needed that imput... and we didn't even have to talk... tee hee  We have talked about this so much, I know what you would say... edits welcome...

 

Someimes I am barreling along in one direction that I forget to get out the road map to remember where I am going...  My horoscope today said the opposite, but I know get so focused on one thing I lose the overall direction... This list will help me finish my writing today... Elizabeth, Tao, Lakota, or anyone else, if I have forgotten anything comments are welcome.  Love and kisses, Marilyn      

I am alive and writing, of course.  Slept in this morning. So after checking up on my friends I started writing... the Muse is still with me... wonder of wonders... Fianlly I have found my voice as separate from the voice of the "other"... little joke for my Ph.D. student friends...

 

Have a wonderful weekend followed by a great Christmas or other holiday you may celebrate... I guess I like to celebrate the humanity of us all... my my arn't I expansive today... Love and kisses, Marilyn 

Hmmmmm  Got up at 9:30 today wow... slept in... Yesterday I took a two hour nap and then went back to writing for a while until 8:00 PM... but couldn't get to sleep when I made it to bed... hmmm wonder why.  I must be getting caught up on my sleep. 

 

Anyway this morning I started revising my introduction... Thank you Elizabeth and Kristin for your input... sometimes I get so wound up in my brain that I can't sort through the chaff to get the nuggets... My talking it out with you helpes me clarify my thoughts and allow me to set aside the garbage and keep on track... I don't know how I could get this done without our discussions.  Actually they are more like monologues... But I do the same for you... so ...     

 

Over the last three days I have totally rewritten my introduction... Last night it was hard to throw away large sections of my proposal (that I worked so hard on last year)... but Kristin helped me to see that rewriting with what I know now is critical ... I was already there about the value of rewritng when my muse jumped on my shoulder... but trashing all of that hard work... was really hard to do... I still haven't deleted it... and I know that I have multiple back up copies so if I every want to revisit it I can... but ... this will make my work so much better... rather than cutting and pasting, but it is painful.  Well got to get back at it.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

Woke up rejoicing this is the shortest day of the year... Well it is up hill from here... I hate these shorter and shorter days... now they start getting longer.  Happy Birthday Bruce (my brother).  Hope your day is good.   I plan to write and then have lunch with Sarah, Elizabeth, Tao and Caylon at a high class hamburger joint.  Cheers, Marilyn 

My muse was still with me this morning... I was able to work on my introduction... I have been struggling with being negative about the archite-cts being our major opposition to licensing.  Men against women... powerful against not so powerful... what ever.... Today I was finally able to set this whole dissertation into a positive aspect... Inte-rior Desi-gners are inte-rior de-signers they have these strenghts and WE DO NOT want to be architects.  That really felt good.  Hope it continues tomorrow.

 

I went swimming for the third time this week. Felt good.  800 yards Monday, 1000 yards Tuesday, and 1200 yards today... did about 8 flip turns... (2 on Monday, 4 yesterday... Grin) It is really hard not to do that... it is so automatic.  Saw Shannon and Judy... Got in the hot tub... It was nice to be able to do that one week after my operation.  Maybe why my brain is working better... swimming.  I only swam once in the last three weeks... to much to do too little time... to much need of chiropractory...

 

After swimming went shopping for more yarn to finish my scarf and bought some DVD's for myself for Christmas... Y Tu Mama Tambien, Choco-lat and the Back to the Fut-ure box set....  Came home and ate... talked to Kristin then went up stairs with my computer in hand and searched the web for light fixtures for my client.  All in all a productive day... but boy am I ready for bed.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

I find the horoscopes on MSN are always a day late... this relates to my day yesterday!!!  

 

     Today you might be feeling a little out of sorts, dear Gemini and your concentration may be diminished a little. You might even have a     

     little trouble focusing on your work, but don't worry about it. It's more mental than anything else, and it will pass. You might feel the need   

     to swill coffee throughout the day to keep you alert. Try to exercise some restraint on this, as it could be counterproductive. Hang in there.

 

l hung in there and today I am really cooking on my introduction chapter... not being whiny, but stressing interior design and female strengths. Yes!!!!

Last night after not working in the evening cause I was too tired.... hmmmm  When I got into bed all of the sudden the writing muse jumped onto my shoulders... and I had to get up, go down, and turn on my computer... I got about 1 1/2 pages pouring out of me for my introductory chapter... in about 45 minutes... before fatique caught up with me and I started typing gobblie gook...

 

Then of course when I went back to bed it took forever to get to sleep... I find I need an hour of detox time before I hit the pillow or I can't sleep for hours... finally after an hour of tossing and turning I took Alk-a Sel-tzer Plus and went to sleep soon after... I slept in until 9:00 this morning... so that was good.

 

Be interesting to look at what I wrote today... sometimes you just have to catch that flow... when it is flowing...  I think some of my frustration in trying to write yesterday was that the infromation needed to be processed more to come out of me.  I do think that I am at the hard parts of writing... The things that we leave for last usually are things that are hard, or confusing or don't have easy answers... As Elizabeth sort of said yesterday... we have no real time line here... it takes what it takes to get this done.  I continue to solider on...

 

Love and kisses, Marilyn