hmmmmmm ......  I need to get my grading finished today and then do all the other stuff we have to do here to finish out the term. 

I just found out that my friend/colleague/Ph.D. student Gisele is going to be in Chicago when I am.  She is going to share my hotel room with me.   She moved to the west and then to California in the last two years.  It will be so great to be able to spend some time with her.  Nancy if you  can afford it please come too.
 
Hope your day is grand.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

Well here it is my last getting up at 6:22 except for needing to be at graduation at 7:30 on Saturday.  But I am not counting that one. 

I graded the final assignment for my MFA class last night. They did such wonderful work.  Today I need to finish Lighting the lamps they handed in yesterday were great.  And Studio Three undergrad class they are doing their final presentation this morning. 

Hope your day is grand.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

I am not sure I am going to have my grading done. I was hoping to be done when classes were over, but I have not been able to complete my lighting class.  Presentations today for the lighting class and my MFA Studio III should be exciting.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

One more morning to get up at 6:22... I am so ready for this term to be over.  Hope your day is grand.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

Hope your day was grand... mine was interesting... Love and kisses, Marilyn

I cannot believe how good my visit to Virginia was for me.  I am much more relaxed and ready to face all of the trials of the last week of class. 

I was able to see my friends and play with K and have wonderful conversations... that I don't seem to really be able to have with friends down here.  I was able to rest and get my grading almost done.  I came back mellow and recharged.

Once I got back one of my friends here called and was complaining about a meeting he went to on Friday and I had to fight to get my tranquility back. This third term is so hard because you have to get yourself charged up for the final push a third time.  It takes so much energy to get the students excited about the topic and get them set in the right direction to learn.  I now understand why most universities when back to semesters in the late 1970s. 

Well I hope that this holiday is good for you.  We have to work.  Love and kisses, Marilyn  

Well I just got home from my trip to Virginia... I am amazed at how restoring it was.  Dinner with Nancy, Ceylan, and Elizabeth was so much fun.  We were rowdy Doctors on the town... our poor waiter... Swimming with Ellen and Katya was so much fun.  Staying in a hotel meant I could relax in the evening and get my grading done in the morning.  I came home refreshed and ready for the last week of class.   

Elizabeth... I really appreciated our talk yesterday afternoon... I know that my reaction is irritational... but when I went to bed last night. I had this thought.  If I reject my inheritance, it means I can get over them quicker... if I take anything even if it is to do good with it, I still have to deal with their what they have left behind.  I know that it is irrational, but rejection means that I can get on with my new life and not have to deal with the remenance of the past.  Others will do something with the business and I am sure the money will go to something to aggrandized them...

My horoscope today is equally as interesting....

You may be feeling smothered by certain individuals and loved ones who hang on to you like barnacles on a rock, dear Gemini. You are a big part of their emotional support system, and they rely on you for strength. Today, however, you may get frustrated by this extra weight, and more than likely you will want to rip those barnacles right off in order to give you more room to breathe. Freedom from the emotional baggage of others is a key lesson for the day.

Hope your day was grand.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

Photos of K in here new slicker coming. 

Concentrate on nurturing your own needs right now, dear Gemini, instead of trying to accommodate the needs of others. There is a difficult tension that arises when you try to comfort someone who really does not want to be comforted. The best way to handle the situation is to simply leave that person alone, and tend to your own emotions. The more stable and clear you are in your own mind, the better you will be in helping others, so take this time to recharge your own batteries.

Hmmmm Love and kisses, Marilyn

I arrived last night... after a very trying week.  We had more crankieness in the office.  So I was relieved to leave town. 

On the way here, I got caught in a traffic jam for an hour and a half in Charlotte NC last night... and when I got to my hotel... the reservations which I called Hotels.com to reserve.... were made at the wrong motel.  I was so mad I was rude to the check in lady at the right (where my reservation was) wrong hotel (it wasn't the hotel I wanted).  I asked for the S*per 8 in C'burg and they gave me the S*per 8 in C'burg/B'burg.... grreeeh  Because I had arrived late (because of the traffic jam) it was too late to correct my reservations.  So I stayed in one hotel last night and checked into another this morning.  It took about 40 minutes on the phone to get it straightened before I packed my bags and moved. 

But of course, I didn't sleep well because I was so mad... that was a second night of not sleeping well.  First night was because of the crankieness, which was not even aimed at me, but I sort of got the backlash. hmmmmm  There is only one more week of class.  I am surprised how hard this third term continues to be.  I know that the crankieness is just because everyone is exhausted.  

But my students have really turned in some amazing work.  They seem to really be happy and even though they are working very hard, they seem to be enjoying the class a lot... Both of my studio classes are working on office design.  My grad students handed in really creative designs in my MFA class.  I finished grading them Wednesday.  The reason I was so hepped up about changing hotel rooms is because I wanted to grade my Juniors studio projects today.  I have graded four out of seven projects today.  Their work is as good as any senior work I have gotten from the other universities I have taught at.  They seem to really love what they are doing.  I still have to grade three tomorrow and the six lighting classes projects.  But I feel good about what I have left to do for the end of the term.  I should have these wrapped up by Monday and just grade their final presentations Wednesday and Thursday.  Grades need to be in Monday morning. 

Tonight I am going to dinner with my friends.  Ceylon, Nancy and Elizabeth so far.  Ceylon is moving to Miami at the end of June and Nancy is finalizing her revisions to her dissertation.  She should be finished in a couple of days.  She defended two weeks ago and passed with revisions, but I forgot to say that here.  We now have Dr. Tao, Dr. Elizabeth, Dr. Sarah, Dr. Ceylon, and soon Dr. Nancy and hopefully by the end of June, Dr. Marilyn.  Kristin has yet to defend her proposal.  She got a job at University of Alabama for next year.  She is a year behind us. 

After I graded I had lunch and then tried to take a nap, but couldn't get to sleep.  I feel good to have gotten that much grading done, as I did.   Hope your day is grand.  It is beautiful and green here although a little cold.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

Don't know if I will have access to internet over the weekend.  I got my grading done for one class... just the final project to finish. Two more big projects to finish for my lighting class and my studio III.  Then final projects for both.

Hope your weekend is grand.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

Well I actually writing comments on my students work.   After I am done with that I will put a grade on them.  I took last night off.  relaxed and played a word game while I watched NC*S.  They had a double show which had an amazing twist at the ending... hmmmm

I have decided to go to Virginia this weekend because if I don't go now I cannot go until mid June.  K is growing so fast I will not recognize her... or she won't remember me.  I have her forth birthday gifts.. not wrapped.... hmmmm ha I got a really nice bag with gifts.  I will have to grade while I am there.... Oh well.  Hope your day is grand.  Love an kisses, Marilyn

Hmmm the term is almost over and I am now submerged in grading.  One class handed their project in yesterday... seven students, at least one hour per student to grade their project.  Another handed in Wednesday six students quicker to grade... and Thursday 14 students projects done in teams of two... another hour or two each.  then their final projects handed in the last day of class.  I usually schedule due dates staggering them more, where one is due last week... on yesterday one Thursday...but for some reason that didn't happen this term. 

My recovery is getting slowly better.  I felt pretty good yesterday.  Had a kind of restless night, slept in the guest bedroom because the moon was shining on the bed.  It was beautiful and I love sleeping in the moonlight, but I woke up quite a few times.  I admit I have been slipping on my going to bed time since last Wednesday night when Cindy and I stayed up later than 10:00 because we didn't get home from our talk until 9:30.  I always need to have an hour of relaxing time before I go to bed...

Swam with one of my former students yesterday.  It made the swim seem to go much faster... although I swam the same speed as always.  We did 1700 yards.  I did two 100s fast and could only do a 1:29 and 1:25.  So I was not going particularly fast. Four years ago I was doing four 100s on two minutes starting at 1:17 and going down to 1:12.  But it was fun to have someone to swim with. 

Hope your day is grand, Love and kisses, Marilyn         

I saw Meet Joe Black for the first time, today.  Once I saw the ending starting half way through the party... but didn't know the story so did not really understand what was happening.   It was good... made me think about the nature of good and evil and how we are all part of both.  A business man portrayed at good was interesting.  Sometimes I think that Hollywood has used businessmen as the evil since the Soviet Union broke up.... well until terr*rist took over. 

What I liked is that he was able to prepare to die and tell people how important they were to him.... hmmmm I do the same thing.... without knowing when I am going to die. 

I have been relaxing all day.  I am amazed how much energy it took to have company and still we working.  Even though it was fun, I was tired when Cindy left.  I was going to go shopping, but may only go grocery shopping.  Next week starts the grading binge until the term is out June 1.  Hope your day is grand.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

Recovery.... Hmmmm Still a work in progress

Yesterday Cindy and I were talking about my dissertation.  She is reading it one more time to correct the typos and tense problems.  She found a place where I had not made my case about the theory on which interior design is based.  She was trying to tell me to either delete it or do more research to prove it.... I started crying.... and said, "Please I cannot do any more research... My committee said we need to fix typos... please... I cannot do more"...

The whole time she she has been here, I was telling her I was still recovering from the effort to get my defense done... and quite often I was not accessing words or would lose thoughts half way through a sentence (that only happened twice).  She is so supportive... but it just seems as if people do not understand when someone says they are at their emotional limit... that there is NOTHING left in me... that there is nothing left.  As my regular readers know, I have taken off the last four weeks from my dissertation to focus on my paying job in the hope of recovering my brain to be able to finish.  I am gathering ever resource I have to just make the corrections my committee requested... once school is out.

I feel badly because she has worked very hard to help me form this into something that is understandable and we both want it as perfect as we can get it... but this dissertation has been a process... in which I have had three periods of revelation in the last year... These periods of revelation are when pieces of the puzzle that have been spinning around in my head as I researched everything I could find about my profession... finally fall into place and a new direction came from each one of these new ways of thinking about the work I have been doing over the last five years... The problem is much of my dissertation was written before these revelations...  so going back correcting written stuff is more like a band-aid... and sometimes the pieces are not fitting exactly together.  She pointed out one of those disconnects... six months ago I would have handled the comment just fine... But yesterday... I could not take one more search for back up information... especially when my committee said just correct the typos and changed your conclusions.... just!

Two problems about this... once it is pointed out, I am not able to ignore the need to correct it, but luckily Cindy helped me find a way to do that.  But it also showed me that I am still close to the edge... I was so smart to stop trying to work on it.  Taking care of myself is priority... and finishing the school terms.  The dissertation gets done when I can handle it. 

Hope that your day is grand.  Love and kisses, Marilyn      

Last night Cindy and I did our presentation to our students about her sustainable house.  We had a room full of students and my faculty friends.  It was great.  Cindy did a great job presenting her viewpoint and all that she has learned building a house that is not really off the grid, but instead will be feeding power back on to the grid through solar power.  There were students crowding around us when we finished. 

Before hand we had a really nice dinner with the two students who planned the event.  They are such nice girls. 

We didn't get home until 9:30 last night... so trying  to go to sleep 1ast night was a challange.  Today I have a full day of classes and graduate reviews from 2:00 to 4:00.  I will be really happy to get home tonight.  I hope your day is wonderful.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

My friend, client and editor Cindy is coming in tonight.  Tomorrow night we are doing a presentation for the interior design group about the house she is building in Florida.  I may not be able to write much for the next couple of days.  She leaves on Saturday.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

Wow It has been a long time since I have had such a restful weekend.  Friday I read for most of the day.  Saturday I went to S*m's Club to pick up some stuff.  I replaced the tires on my car.  The attendent said that I didn't need to replace my tires yet, but I wanted to get them before I started traveling this summer.  I though that I was going to have to order them, but they had them in stock.  It took two hours to mount the tires.... so I shopped.... hmmmm I bought a screen room from my porch.  It was only $88.00 and is a good way to see if I want to go to the expense of a screened in porch on the back of my house.  If I don't use it I saved a lot of money.  In Michigan, we used out screened in porches a lot because the evenings are cool yet buggy.  I am not so sure here.  I also bought  some paper and ink for my computer, some clothes for K and me, some food, and dirt to replant house plants, charcoal, and food other stuff... I spent an additional to the tires $500. hmmmm I sort of feel that prices are going to be going up and I might as well stock up for now... hmmmmm  Excuses, excuses...

I assembled the screen room... it doesn't quite go to the floor so isn't great for bugs... I will have to remodel it... by adding an extra skirt to make it work... hmmmm 

Scot and the dogs came over for dinner and we sat on the porch in the new screen porch, but it was pretty hot to be sitting outside.  Scot cooked for me and we watched some more of Thornwood.  It was a nice relaxing day.

This morning I woke up to tornado watches... and I was watching my neighbors dog and let her out and then put her in the garage again... then out again after the storm passed by.  Then I cleaned my house it was sort of spring cleaning I guess.  Watched the weather channel most of the day and a movie.  I wiped down all of my shelves and knick knacks.  Did the laundry and washed my tub.  The house is pretty clean for Cindy's visit. 

I hope that your weekend was grand.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

Hmmm two o'clock I get awakened by a dog howling... it started in my dream and became a reality.  The dog next door was howling over and over again... Still fuzzy from sleep, I thought it was a owl or something then it barked... hmmmm  I am going darn the neighbors left their dog out again.  I look out the window and there is a big black lab standing my side of the fence.... hmmm a strange dog.  I do not see strange dogs in my neighborhood.   I taped on the window and the dog came around to my deck.  He seemed friendly so I got dog biskets and threw them out the door.  I got water and when I took it out to him I noticed that he was wet.... hmmmm within minutes he was in the house and finally settling down in my bedroom to like and loudly chew on himself for about an hour... Finally we both went to sleep and woke up at sunrise.  I called his owner and he picked him up by 7:45.  We think that Honey (the dog next door) may be in heat.  Duffey the black lab was just fixed on Thursday... so was trying to get some.  It was nice to hand him over to his owner.

For some reason I am a little tired, today.  Hmmmmm  Today my plans are to go to S*m's Club to get lotion, coffee and something else I need?!?  Can't remember what it is.  I am going to remix the paint I bought for my living room, dining room and kitchen.  It came out on the pink side of peach and lighter than the sample.  Once the paint is remixed then I can start painting my living room in my spare time.

Yesterday I relaxed all day.  I read a book in a series of science fiction books that I really enjoy.  It has strong woman characters.  I had my chiropractory in the morning and massage in the afternoon. I am sure I am going to bruise, we were rally digging deeply in my thies and neck, but I feel so much better when the muscles relax. 

Oh yeah I need to clean my house tomorrow and the next day.  My friend/client/editor Cindy is coming to do a talk about her sustainable house in Florida to the interior design student group.  She is staying a couple of days to see Savannah.  It will be fun to see her, but I need to get my house clean.  Hope your day is grand.  Scot and I are getting together tonight for a hike, dinner and a movie.  Love and kisses, Marilyn   

I don't know why but I had a terrible time getting to sleep last night.  Finally at 12 something I turned the air conditioning down to 76 and was able to get to sleep soon after.  I was just regular hot on and off even with the fan blowing on me.  I finally remembered last year I set the thermostate at 77 rather than 78 because 78 I was too hot... hmmmmm  It is going to be terrible to drag myself through the day with two nights of really bad sleeping... that is what I get for saying I was finally feeling good and getting caught up on Monday.... hmmmmm  six more 6:22s.

Last night when I couldn't sleep I tried all of my tricks.  When I got up to take Alka S*ltzer Plus... I walked through my living room to get filtered water out of the fridge... and  I HAVE FIREFLIES in my back yard!  Not as many as I had in Virginia, yet... but they were beautiful.  And it made me so happy to have that nature here.  I opened my blind in the bedroom to the back yard to watch as I finally drifted off to sleep.

Reminds me I need to screen in part of my deck... so that I can enjoy my deck in the evening. The sand nats are really bad at dusk here. Hope your day is grand.  Love and kisses, Marilyn    

Hmmmm For some reason my wireless wasn't working this morning.  I spent a few frantic minutes trying to get it back until I remembered I could just plug my computer in through its ethernet port.  Got access relatively quickly... amazing how much I depend on checking my email each morning noon and night.  Yes I am an addict.
 
I had kind of a bad sleeping night last night waking six times with hot flashes... luckily I could get back to sleep pretty soon after they were done, but 20 minutes out of your night six times is quite frustrating.  I don't know how Ellen stood it when she would have rolling hot flashes almost every night, where you go to cover yourself up and one started again. 

Had a really nice conversation with Elizabeth the night before last.  K had a great 4th birthday.  20 4 year olds.... must have been crazy.  Elizabeth sounds like she is happy to end her term last week.   She survived her new class where she had a lot of prep each week to get ready to teach.  Amazing how much energy that take to prepare a class both in prep and presenting... and when you present anything new for the first time... it is hard to figure out how to present it so that the students can understand the information. It always takes a couple of terms to tweak it to get it just right. 

I am not going to be able to come to Virginia this weekend.  It is graduation and I was hoping to see Caylon be hooded, Nancy defend, but it is not going to happen.  I am already planning to get some stuff done around the house.  It will be the first weekend that I am caught up on my grading.  Until students start handing in final projects starting next week.

Hope your day is grand.  Love and kisses, Marilyn