I painted my dining room yesterday evening for 2.5 hours... and for some strange reason I am really sore today!  Hmmmm imagine that.   I am back to the dissertation today.  I got the first 68 pages edited for almost the last time... few places to correct. Really revised the abstract and the conclusions to the two sections... hmmmm Need to move on to the next section.  I can feel the clock ticking.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

I can tell that I am recovering because I am starting to get my energy back. 

I got up in the morning, purchased gas and mowed my lawn.  The people who owned my house before I bought it put a broken door (covered in metal) and some wood under my deck.  Not a good idea with termites here...  so since I was already hot and sweaty I crawled under the edge of the deck to get them out.  The door was kind of wedged between a post and a concrete pad so I had to get a pry bar out and inch it out... I was surprised how heavy it was.  I leaned it up against the deck.  Now I don't know what to do with it... keep it out back until the "big stuff" garbage pick up.... hmmmm I certainly don't want to put it in my garage (it might have termites in the wood part of it).  Hmmmmm

After mowing, I did the laundry while I checked out the internet and blogged... and around one I got back to my dissertation.  I printed out 68 pages and began re-reading and correcting... I do this by sitting on the sofa reading out loud to myself.  There are a lot less corrections now.  By six my brain turned off... and so I had dinner... this is where I feel my energy is coming back... I started to prepare to paint my dining, living room.  I laid out drop clothes, taped off the trim and I cut in the new color.  It looks pretty good, I think I will really like the peachy tone.  By 8:30 Matt came over and we watched M*tch Set (I think that is what it was called)  Hard movie to watch... people make some really bad choices in life.  Luck plays and important part of the movie. 

Which brings me to.... what I think about luck?  First of all I feel that I am a very lucky person...  That does not mean that I have not had some really bad things happen in my life... It is I try to not dwell on them and try to not have them define me as a person... It also means that I have always worked very hard to be successful in life.

But back to luck....  there is a complexity to luck... You have the ability to judge each day of your life as positive or negative.  One of my friends/clients had a heart attack about six years ago and died three times to be brought back to life.   Although her outlook was always positive... now she glows with a zest for life and embraces all of the positive in her life, but... and I think this is key, she also embrases the negatives too... The negatives can define our lives.  If you chose to interpret events as negative, then you might feel unlucky... If you chose to interpret an events as a way to learn or as a balance to the good in your life...  you can feel lucky. 

I feel that a good part of luck is made from good choices and from being prepared to jump on the possibility of a good decision.  But I also understand that being grateful for what you have both good and bad can make things positive.  I have the obnoxious/wonderful ability to see the positives in life and look at the negatives as a lesson to learn from...

For example, when I was 52 years old I applied to a university in my state for graduate school... they sent me a letter of acceptance in Feb. and then rejected my application in April.  I could have been devastated... but after pouting for a few days... I applied to other programs much further away in the fall.  I ended up at Virginia Tech, where my Graduate Teaching Assistantship (GTA) paid for my tuition.... good thing.... it also allowed me to close my interior design business, mostly and not feel that I needed to jump to when an old client called and wanted help.  (I did help some clients who were willing to pay my airfare back to Michigan) 

But the program I was in had its problems.... in that there was not a real commitment from the faculty to the Ph.D. program (they were much more committed to the Masters programs)... This had us Ph.D. students griping about the lack of commitment, lack of Ph.D. faculty with which to work and other complaints big and small .... but for me those problems became an asset.... Hmmm there is that Susie Sunshine in me.  Although it was scary, I guided my research, I developed direction my research took and it had little to do with what I planned to do in the first place.  But you have to understand that all of this was a terrible double edged sword... with lack of guidance I struggled with my direction and probably wasted a good year and a half trying to find my way... I was lucky in that I was older and knew that things would work out in the end... But now, I could choose fret over the wasted year and a half... but I choose not to regret it or the lack of direction from others, because my dissertation is so much more important to my profession because I forged a new path.... 

In addition, in order to get support, my colleagues and I banded together to form a very tight knit study group that give all of us support.  I love this young women with all my heart and feel our joint struggle made us so much more than we could have been if we had the guidance we expected.  What is amazing is that everyone in the group is continuing to make progress... We have 4 Ph.D.s, two defended their dissertation and passed with revisions, one in the writing phase... and one finishing up her preliminary exam.   That in itself is pretty amazing since in the previous five years before we arrived only five Ph.D. were awarded in our program.   But I feel we took what could have been a negative and with a lot of work and commitment turned it into a positive. Hmmmm Is that luck or is that perseverance?... I choose to call it both...

All of this from watching a movie last night examining luck, choices and how we view them...  Okay now it is time for me to return to my dissertation.  Hope your day is grand.... Love and kisses, Marilyn

We left home by 9:15 and drove the hour to Hilt*n Head.  We took a tree mile walk in the nature preserve.  It was islands on the water with pine woods and beautiful birds. It was really hot by the time we made it back to the car.  We walked for about an hour.  We had lunch at a diner.  The food was really good and they had a really diverse menu. 

After lunch we went to the beach and swam, walked, read and sunned for probably a hour and a half.... Matt got a little burned.  It was really hot and quite crowded on the beach.  Then we went to the resale shop and he picked up two ties for a buck... and I got three books, a puzzle and a CSI board game all for $1.50...  We came home and fixed left overs for dinner (from he night before).  We watched the movie Some Like It Hot.  All in all it was another relaxing and fun day.  I like hanging out with Matt.

While we walked on the nature trail I told him about part of my research to try to decide which topic I want to use for my presentation at the fall conference.  It was great because I really need to verbalize to refine my thinking.  So I now know what I want to do my presentation on and how to form it. 

This morning I am going to mow my lawn before getting back to my dissertation.  Oh earlier in the week, I got the paint for my living, dining room, two short hallways and kitchen remixed.  The peachy color I chose was a little too pink... so I had them add some brown... it looks better now... so I will be painting my living room  etc. in the evenings for a while... Hope your day is grand.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

Picking berries yesterday.  We came back and made two batches of jam/jelly.  I will put photos up soon of all the yummy berries.  It was really nice to do something like what I used to enjoy in Michigan.  We had dinner later and made blackberry crisp... it was really good. 

Today we are going to Hilt*n Head to the beach, a nature park, and a resale shop.  I am amazed, it  is one of the few places I have never been too.

I have finished edited about the first 68 pages.  I think they looks pretty good.  I will print it out again tomorrow and read it over one more time before working on the rest.
 
Last night I got a call from my friend Kathy.  She went to junior high with me.  She asked if I got the 40 reunion information.... hmmmm yeah... I put it in a pile of something to take care of later.. well now is later.  The reunion is July 11,12 and 13 in Ann Arbor, Michigan.  I really want to go, so I just need to figure out how to do it.  Maybe this is the impetus I need to get my dissertation done before I go to that.

It dawned on me this morning that the South Regional Conference for my profession have proposals due for presentations probably around August 1... I guess I need to figure out what I want to present and get started on writing 500 words on that. 

This morning I am getting at it quickly.... because Matt and I are going to pick blackberries at about 9:30 while it is cool.  Hope your day is great.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

to write here, yesterday... but can I remember what it is this morning?!?  NO of course not.  I should have written it down...  Some grandiose discussion of something or another.   Hmmmm

I worked on my dissertation yesterday.  I am starting to get my rhythm back.  I get up at about 7:30 to 8:00, check my e-mail, blog with coffee and start re-reading a printed version of what I worked on the day before.  I correct that on the computer and then start on about 20 pages of new revisions.  Yesterday I went to the pool for the first time all month and swam a little under a mile.  It took two hours to go there swim and get back. When I got back I continued working for another couple of hours.  I finished at 6:15.  Hmmmm a good day of work and a rhythm I can keep up for a while. 

My tree in my front yard has been dieing this summer.  I watered it and it still is dieing.  I am very frustrated!!!  It is a 4" diameter live oak and replacing it is going to be difficult and probably expensive. Yesterday I thought... maybe the person who owned this house before (a landscaper) put the planter around the tree to fancy up the house for sale... Maybe he piled dirt up against the trunk of the tree and it cannot breathe.  So when I got home from the pool I dug around the tree base and it seems as if I am right.  The base of the tree had stones around it to protect it, but dirt and grass had filled in the spaces.  I hope removing it will help the poor tree.  Time will tell.

Hope your day is grand.  Love and kisses, Marilyn         

I decided yesterday to put a summer theme on my blog.  I think it is about time. 

I worked most of the day on my dissertation went from page 50 to 70 making corrections.  Interspersed I played with my puzzel.  It is very adicting.  I am almost done, and need to not open the next one... too temping during the day.  I also went grocery shopping.  By three my brain was tired and I was ready to go to the pool for exercise... luckily before I left for the pool I called... for some reason it closes from 3:45 to 4:45. Hmmmm  That would have been right when I arrived after a forty minute drive to get there to have the pool close just as I get there.  

Matt called and he and I went for a walk at Ft. MaCalester (hmmm that is not spelled right).   It is a really nice pine woods.  It was hot, but we enjoyed our walk.  Maybe I can handle this heat down here... hmmmm 

When we got back I made the semi-home-made pizza and a salad full of veggies... and we sat at the kitchen dining area and ate.   My neighbors came over and insisted that we come over with plates to get some food.  They had a big cookout with fresh fish fried and low country boil.  It was yummy.  Matt was funny because after he ate his salad, he questioned if he should eat the pizza (he is going to the beach next week and wants to look buff....) and then we had a another meal.... after the pizza.   Hmmmm  We watched Lake House on the DVD player and generally had a very enjoyable evening.

Hope your day is grand.  Love and kisses, Marilyn 

I got home just around 5:30.  I ran into two rain storms where I went down to about 30 miles per hour... I will add photos of the doggie parade we all attended soon.  Love and kisss, Marilyn

Last night was the summer solstice... I did not go out in the parking lot dancing to the druids.... hmmmmm  Well now the days are now going to get shorter.  hmmmmm I really like spring where the days get longer.  This means winter is coming...

I had dinner with Nancy, Elizabeth and Ceylan.  I love these women so much... We worked hard to not say goodbye the Ceylan... she is moving and was in the same emotional state that I was in last fall... when I could not say goodbye, left the restaurant at a run to boo hoo out of control in my car...  because I was so upset about leaving B'burg.  Elizabeth, K and I are going to a street fair today... and then maybe to the pool. 

It took me a while to get to sleep... so I slept in until 9:30, which means I didn't get to my chiropractor... I woke up multiple times after sunrise... but rolled over to go back to sleep... ooh well.
 
My horoscope today... even though I really don't quite believe in this...  sometimes it is amazing how it fits with my life. 

Be conscious of your own needs today, dear Gemini, and feel free to be a little selfish. Give yourself the credit you deserve, and don't let other people bully you into feeling like you are not worthy of the attention you receive. You have a great number of gifts to share with the world, so don't be afraid to flaunt these today. Lighten up and be proud. Other people are lucky to be in your company today.

Hope your first day of summer is grand... Love and kisses, Marilyn

I stayed over last at home night, left this morning at 8:30 and arrived in B'burg by 3:15.  Hmmmm   The road was good and I had a good book to be read to me.  It got done, just as I was coming into town.  Tonight I am going to dinner with Elizabeth, Ceylan and Nancy....  before Ceylan moves to Maimi at the end of the month. 

I bought a puzzle and have worked on it the last few nights.  It is fun to relax in front of the tv with something to keep my hands and eyes busy. 

I printed out the first 51 pages of my dissertation to re-read and correct one more time.  Then I will re-write my conclusions.... once I re-read the chapter...

Hope your day is grand.  Love and kisses, Marilyn  

Ha just spent 45 minutes in the bathtub... not relaxing... we had a tornado warning.. and I took my crank up radio and spent 45 minutes trying to get a weather report.  Finally the best information was tuning into TV stations... hmmmmm so much for early warning system on the radio... The storm was pretty strong and may have spawned (sp?) a tornado 12 miles east of here.  I wasn't scard or anything just frustrated that my radio didn't work as well as I hoped... was great for listening to music as long as you cranked it every few minutes.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

I cannot decide whether to leave today or tomorrow.  I want to get work done on my dissertation, mow the lawn and relax another night, but worry about... what... what am I worrying about leaving tomorrow morning?  I save money by not getting another hotel room and have another evening to relax.  I can always stay Sunday in B'burg if I don't have enough time.  Oh I know I need to see the chiropractor there and the last Saturday I was there he was closed.  If get enough done I may leave tonight... if not... tomorrow.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

I also went to Vict*ria Secr*ts for their semi annual sale and to target to pick up a couple of things that I have needed for a while.  I also bought two puzzels... tonight I was working on one of them to relax.  I worked most of the day on my dissertation... I am up to page 41.  Hope your day was great.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

and feel all recovered from my colonoscopy this morning.  They told me not to do anything important today like cooking, using power tools, and no driving because of the sedation... so I guess I will not work on my dissertation, that is very important in my life right now... but I will blog instead.

I had an interesting weekend remembering a pivotal event in my life... the sports reporter Jim McV*y died and they were eulogizing him by talking about the role he played in reporting the Mun*ch Olympics.  Then I saw a movie, (I don't know if it is a new movie or old) by Alan Gre*nspan (I think) telling the story about the Mun*ch Olymp*cs.  A third event that got me thinking was the death of Tim Russ*rt of Me*t the Pr*ss and how they were eulogizing him.  Tim died of a heart attack at my current age...   Again these three events had me thinking about life and how fleeting it can be and how we need to make the most of every minute we have together on this earth.  Cause you never know when you go to work, or to school that you will come home that night.  

For those of you who have read me for a while, you know that I participated in the Mexico City 1968 and Munich 1972 Olymp*cs.  I swam for Canada and won a bronze medal on the freestyle relay in Mexico City when I was 18 years old.  (I use stars so that people searching for information on the Mun*ch Olymp*cs won't necessarily get my blog.)  In addition, since 2003, I have been a graduate student at Virg*nia Tech. With events there a year ago April... if seems as if life sometimes has a way of circling back on you when you least expect it. 

The Mun*ch Olymp*cs was one of the key moments in my life.  I had just graduated from college and was planning to marry my college sweetheart in Germany during the Olymp*cs... as soon as I finished swimming.  We were planning on traveling around Europe for six months after our marriage.  We did travel for three months until we ran out of money.

But the morning after the last swimming event, Ar*b terrorist  had kidnapped 11 Isra*l athletes over night... by the next morning they were all dead. Three days later I got married and it was covered as a life goes on story by the local German newspaper and Canadian TV.  I was 22 am my whole world view changed in those two nights.  I guess it was not totally changed that night, because since 1963 I had also lived through the assignations of the Kenn*dy's and M.L. K*ng and I knew that the world was not a safe place. 

But in athletics everything seemed to be safe until Mun*ch.  The Olymp*cs then were about breaking down barriers between countries and seeing how similar we all were to each other.  Peace through sport.  In addition, as long as you strived to do your best, things would work out.  But those few days in Mun*ich made me understand that there was no place on earth were unreasonable people could turn it into hell.  I learned that anyones life can be changed in an irrational instant.  When  the evens unfolded at Virg*nia Tech last year, I began to understand how much Mun*ch made me into the person I was now. 

I am naturally outgoing, but am filled with the desire to break down barriers between people.  (that old Olymp*c spirit)  I formed a tight group of women graduate students from 8 countries as colleagues, but also as close friends as we struggled through classes by celebrating our successes as well as our failures.  After all we all fail at some points in our lives.  Sometimes I think I shocked my professors when I told them thank you for a great lecture, because too often we only hear when we do something wrong.

I always tell people that I loved them, when I felt it, because we never know if we will see them again.

So this weekend... the references to Munich brought back all of these feelings.  And then I heard about Tim Russ*rt. I never watched his show, I liked Sund*y Morn*ng, but he seemed to be so loved.  Like a big bear of a man, who did his job to the best of his ability, was fair and balanced, and yet still had room for a loving heart and a huge joy for life.  Yet he died... a couple of months older than I am right, now.  Zing it brings it back to my reality... His death only re-enforces how important it is to tell people how you feel about them when you have the chance.  Life is so fleeting.  But I grasp my life filled with joy. 

I hope that your day is wonderful and filled with memorable images to be savored.... like colonoscopies... Ha!  Love and kisses, Marilyn

Exam all done.  Everything is fine there are no polyps in my colon.  It was cool because they only partially sedate you and I watched my colon examine on TV.... So I now know what my insides look like.  It only took about 20 minutes... Once I was done, they put me in a recovery room, after ten or fifteen minutes they gave me juice, then ten minutes later my clothes, and then rolled me out of the area in a wheel chair.  My friend Alicia gave me a ride and after the scope, we stopped by Micky D's for breakfast.  I had two trays of pancakes.... I feel quite normal, yet tired.... I am going to take a nap, but basically it was a good examination.   Love and kisses, Marilyn

I read until almost midnight and had to get up at five for a final treatment.   I was surprised that I would be able to sleep.  I feel pretty good and am not hungry.  It is hard to not drink water... but beyond that I have found this cleaning out period not too onerous, but I have never particularly had problems with bodily functions.  My friend Alicia is taking me to the hospital at 6:00 for the colonoscopy.  I should be done by 9:00.  Hope your day is grand.  Love and kisses,  Marilyn

I started drinking the gunk at noon and finished the gallon of by 5:00.  They tell you not to drink it too quickly.  A cup every ten minutes.  I started going potty after an hour and have used the potty every half an hour to 45 minutes since then.  I have also drank three cups of clear soup and 2 glasses of water and ate a popcycle.  It hasn't been to bad so far.  The second to the last glass of gunk was the hardest to drink. 

I took a nap after I finished the drinking part of this session. 

I really have not been hungry, but worry about what I will feel tonight when I go to bed.  I have decided to have a full meal of liquid at aroung 11:00 so that I won't be hungry in the middle of the night.  I cannot eat or drink after midnight.  I sort of want something crispy... but am not having any problem resisting.  It helps that I can  have as much fluid as I want.  More updates later.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

Just what everyone wants a blow by blow of a colonoscopy.  Ha...  Love and kisses,  Marilyn

I am now on a liquid diet and at noon I start taking the stuff to clean me out.  hmmmmm I am going to be working on my dissertations in between pottie stops.  Hope your day is grand. Love and kisses, Marilyn

My headache is mostly gone today.  Still a little twinge in the right side every once in a while.  Hmmmmm  I slept pretty well for having slept most of the day. 

I started am watering my lawn yesterday.  My neighbor called me in Chicago to ask if they could water my lawn, because it was looking so bad.  Hmmmm so this morning I am moving my sprinkler around my back yard to keep that grass alive.  I hope it won't kill my pocket book, but I don't want the grass to totally die. 

Well I am back to the revisions on my dissertation again today.  I hope that your day is grand.  Love and kisses, Marilyn