Wow I have been on a emotional rollicoaster this week trying to get my first research section of my dissertation to my committee by next week Oct. 9th.  My chair has been acting weird, which seems to happen to a lot of people at some time during this treck... I am hoping to have the first half ready for my committies review... I have decided to give it to three members of my committee at the same time for them to review and advise... 

 

I have not been sleeping well this week with all the stress...  I think that everyones path leads to a breaking point when you push through or give up... Last Wednesday was my day... I have crested that hill and now am continuing to move forward ... even swimming has not relieved my stress load much. 

 

Today, I spent the whole day sleeping on the sofa.  I woke up at 5:00 am and couldn't get back to sleep.. my back and neck was aching...(last night my massage theripist really dug into my back, which we had not touched in a few weeks... and of course it has been killing me because of my stress load... so she really dug in there... I could bearly get off the table) I was aching so badly this morning that at six when I couldn't get back to sleep and asperine didn't help... I got my heating pad out and lay on the sofa with a pillow and blankie... slept until 10:30 got up ate something for five minutes went back to sleep until 3:00 pm.  Got up and had some chili, but I am still stretched out on my sofa for the rest of the day.   I still have a bit of a headache...scometime durning all of this a sinus headache came too (which isn't a bad thing... I guess I would like to have them at the same time to get my fall allergy related headache over with).

 

So this was a rest and recouperation day for me... I will be back at it tomorrow and start printing out my work of the summer and fall.  I also decided to print out my interviews that I did so that my committee can read them and make sure my comments were accurate to the interview.  This is one time when my age and experience has really made a difference... In addition, I was proud of my self that I was no longer questioning my ablities nor my work...  I know that I can do this and I know that what I am doing is important and actually somewhat interesting.  Now, I just have to push through and get the job done.  Thanks for your support it has made a difference.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

Busy right now... will write on Saturday... got my stuff together yesterday for my first section of my research... should be ready to go to my chair by Monday.  It is about one third of all my reasearch... feels good after an absolutly crappy Wednesday.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

Each morning.. It is so comforting to see what they have been up too.  Carole is finished with her job... time to relax and rest up... It seems as if Cee is not looking forward to her birthday... Ya know it is better than not having one... I feel we need to celebrate everything!!! Life is much to short to not revel when we have any excuse... ask Carole she had a week long farwell birthday party... Lakota is working in a school with little kids... what a pleasure to read about the little minds, and Fabiola has pictures of the beach that for some reason wouldn't come up... and Tao is having nightmears about her committee getting on her back for not moving foreward... sounds like she is on her own back by her dream....

 

Yesterday was really busy, but it felt good.  After the faculty meeting, I finished my last interview for Ohio... and then started rereading and combining the four aspects of my research together into a section. I got 2/3 of the way through the narrative from the documents I pulled from our national organization.  Then I had my conference call about my internship.  That was really good...  about 30 of us were on the phone for an hour and a half.  Really good discussions.  Then I read the book and course package for my class I am teaching.... I went swimming and got my feet cracked and came home and ate.  Kristin called and we disected the facutly meeting.  Then for some reason, I couldn't do any more work and I sat and watched about an hour and a half of TV and played solitare.... hmmm relaxing 

 

Today I teach both places and then will swim, and go to Kristin's for dinner... I hope she makes Chicken Pot pie... yum yum.  Hope your day is wonderful... Love and kisses, Marilyn    

And Greg said that he does not need me to teach next term.  It does not surprise me... I had been expecting it when my contract was only for one term.  Actually in some ways I am relieved because I have been working my b*tt off this term.  And I could use a break before I start my real job next fall.  I also have a inte-rior de-sign project  to work on which could suppliment my income... I have found over the years that God will provide, when I have a need.  

 

I finished my grading for my materials class, and read the matrix for our conference call for my intership last night.... and then watched show on PB-S about Leon-ardo Da Vi-nci about constructing some of his engineering feats... it was really good. I am on to writing today and my conference call this afternoon.  Love and kisses, Marilyn 

I had an evening of grading.  I got half of the tests graded and then did the matching, multiple guess and true and false, so I have the second half half done.  I will try to get a lot done in the morning before class.  It would be wonderful if I could get them all done... because it will be nice to have that all finished... grading is hard to fit into my writing schedule.  It is 9:30 and feels like midnight... I think I will take a bath and go to bed...

 

Carole did you see that I bought two shirts... men's taylored shirts and two pair of ear rings.. your shopping must have rubbed off.  Have a great night... Love and kisses, Marilyn 

I hope that this is an improvment but why they add another extra step to just do my blogggggg  greeehhhrrr.    Started the morning working on a letter of reference for Sarah.  Tao came just after 9:00 am to mow, but the grass was still really wet, so I sent her home... then continued on Sarah's reference... then I went to the porch to check my flowers to see if they needed water and Tao was still sittting in her car in my driveway talking on the phone.  It was windy and had dried off enough to try mowing.. I showed her how to clear the shut and walk so the shute faced away from where you needed to mow... and she mowed the back yard for me... The front was done earlier in the week by my neighbor (we each mow the whole thing when we mow so our front yard always looks good).  I will do the side yard next week when I can do my own mowing... Thank you Tao for helping me out!!!!

 

After lunch, I then got started on my dissertation.  Worked on the last Ohio section... Elizabeth called I I stopped for an hour to shop at he mall.  Katya was so good.  She is learning to use the pottie and is so cute about it.  I bought two pairs of ear rings and two shirts and two CDs... another Jack Johnson and Nora Jones.  My repretra is expanding...  I came home and ate a Greek salad and now thing I will grade for a while.  

 

Last night, I cleaned the inside of my car.  First time I washed the windows on the inside since I bought it in November.  I also vacuumed it and wiped down the dash board and other exposed surfaces.  It was nice to get into a clean car today.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

Starting out every Saturday with what happened to this week?  Time is flying... Sorry but here comes a short (which became long) rant on everything I have to do and how little time I have to accomplish it...

 

I continue to persever on my writing... it is really slow going... After writing 307 pages it is daunting to think that I still have to write about another 150 pages... (they are half written after the transcribing... but still).  The chair of my committee insisted last week that I do everything I said that I was going to do in my proposal.  Which I really do not have a problem with... I was just surprised last week about the actual length of this thing.  Other Ph.D. students get away with 150 pages... hmmmm    

 

With her her comments the realization was re-emphasised that I still have too much to do... to be done by Christmas vacation and my chair said that no one would read this "novel" over Winter Break.  I am continueing each writing day to write what I can.  I still have to find transcribers and have a couple of leads... I have one more interview I have to do and two more I would like to do... three interviews that have to be transcribed and about six that it would be nice to have transcribed... Ok that is my dissertation...

 

Teaching... to be have graded 25% of my students tests... in three hours... essay, short answer... takes time to grade. I will try to finish them in the morning on Monday and Wednesday before class. 

 

My presentations in the design studio went really well.  We still have about six or seven to do on Monday.  They are really coming up with some creative stuff... this "no teaching" teaching seems to be working for these students.  I am really glad that it is working.  It is so hard not to lecture for an half an hour at the beginning of class as I did for the last 23 years... But I am doing okay about not doing it...  But I try to give them a lot of emotional support even if it is not telling them what to do on their projects.   The thought in our depeartment is that if we tell them what to do they will not develop their own artistic eye.  So they need to work together and feed off of the creativity of each other... I cheer them on... It seems to be working.  So that is teaching.

 

Last week after not working on my independent study for quite a while... which is coming up with a sustainable textile glossary...  I began working on it... iI started doing it during my studio class at V-T.   Once I check with my students that they have everything they need.  I work on that...  It is a four hour class so I usually have about two hours of time to work on stuff there.  It feels good to be moving on it again.  When I commit  to something I like to feel as if I am giving it my all.  The conference calls start again next week.  So that is my intership.

 

Okay I will stop complaining now... I really am enjoying what I am doing, I just wish that I had been able to finish my dissertation writing over the summer like I planned so that I didn't have so much going on at one time.  But there is only a self imposed deadline for my dissertation.  I still have seven more years until I have to be done by the university requirement.

 

The first weekend in October I am going back to Michigan to work with an former client who is building a house in Florida and wants it it to sustainable... right up my alley... and then I have a educational conference in Greensboro at the end of October... and my trip to India over Thanksgiving in late November... so I am pushing to get as much done as possible before the proverbial sh*t hits the fan. 

 

I have always burned the candle at both ends and this is all doable as long as I don't set artifical deadlines that cannot be met.  I keep reminding everyone to remember to take care of themselves... that is also a reminder for me to keep taking care of me... Which I am doing, partly by venting here... tee hee..  making lists (which I do here), by exercising, eating well, sleeping as much as I can, having an active social life.... hmmmm what else?  Having wonderful friends both on line and off.  Hope you have a wonderful weekend... Love and kisses, Marilyn 

 

 

Well here it is Friday and where did this week go?  I am giving my first test in one class and our first formal presentation in the other.  Should be a good day.  I haven't mowed my grass this week.  My massage therapist told me not too because of my heels being better... give them some time to set the new postion of the bones... but all my neighbors have mowed and my yard looks very scraggily.  I have not been abel to ask for help (as my massage therapist said I should)  I am so blooming independent that it is really hard for me to ask for help, on something as easy as mowing the yard.... greehhhh  Maybe I need to work on that.  Have a great day.  Love and kisses, Marilyn  

Our newly minted Mad CAUS group is meeting this morning at 9:00.  We have added Ceylon and Nancy because their group became a pair when Gesilli left for Chicago.  CAUS is the college we are in... Mad because we are... or will be sometime in this dissertation process.  We share so much energy whe we get together... I can use some today.   

 

Went I went to my committee chair last Friday with the huge size that my dissertation was fast ecoming...  she said that it ends up what it ends up.  So even though I have 307 pages written, I will probably write another 100 to 125 to finish.  so my dissertation will be around 400 to 450 pages.... hmmm I just keep plugging away each writing day.  Trying to make sense of this information.

 

I stated on the next interview on Tuesday and it was really interesting to turn into a narritive.  This woman who was the former president of our national organaiztion for interior design was saying all the things that I think without prompting... I ended up splitting her interview into Ohio stuff and A-SID national stuff.  So this means that I now have another chapter, so my five sections left to write just became six.... but thats okay because it makes more sense this way...  and I have interviewed seven people from our National organizations of interior design and need to include their viewpoint somewhere...  So I have been sort of comtemplating adding a chapter... about their viewpoint.  

 

Once Mad CAUS is done then I will come back and write some more...  Noelle and I will swim together tonight and maybe go to El Rodeos for Mexican... I only get to swim with her about once a week these days... She is so busy. 

 

I made reservations to go visit my client Cindy in Michigan on October 6.  We have a three day weekend.  She is building a sustainable house on the west coast of Florida...  and asked me to help... it will be really nice to work with her again... It will also be great to do some interior design.  She is a amazing woman and wonderful client.

 

Hope your day goes well.  It has turned cool here, but sunny... georgous fall days... Love and kisses, Marilyn    

 

 

I was actually able to make some progress on my next section of my dissertation today which is pretty amazing... Last night I woke up at 3:00 with a coughing jag... I was able to go to bed without doctoring myself up... but once the coughing started  alka seltzer plus, cough drops and cough syrup to no avail... the only way I could get back to sleep (two hours later) was to sit up in bed... I hate when that happens... Luckily I could sleep in or should I say up... and I did until 9:30...  Which is why I was productive today... I stayed off the drugs but took the herbs today until this afternoon when stuffness made my head too foggie...

 

Oh it was a beautiful fall day today, I went outside to have me lunch and their was a nice breeze coming up the valley, warm sun cool breeze, and so I finished trimming my bushes... It was lovely....  I had my windows open but may pay later because the goldenrod is in bloom and I think I am allergic... good reason to go swimmming...  I am heading to the pool to swim and then home to read my book I assigned my students... They have their first test on Friday... Hope you had a good day to... Love and kisses, Marilyn 

But today... after lecturing this morning and checking at VT to make sure all of my students were okay... I went home... tried to take a nap which didn't work, but I relaxed the rest of the afternoon and evening... Now I am going to take a bath and go to bed... my head is acheing as well as my stuffed up nose...  Cee maybe we caught each others colds on line... tee hee... Hope to get back to writing tomorrow...  Love and kisses, Marilyn 

I just read a really good book, it started out as a mystery, but ended up as a really good book about life. It was called An Accid-ential Women, by Jan-et Deli-nsky    I was about how people take mistakes that made early in their lives and have the mistake or the guilt of the mistake reverberate thorughout their lives.  Each one of the characters did something in the past that they were ashamed of and the guilt in a way crippled their current life.  We all have things that we are ashimed of... both little and big...  but we cannot let the guilt of something eat away at us.  It is a waste of our energy...  That is not saying we need to learn from our mistakes... but enough is enough...  Hmmm Hope your day was good.  I am feeling much better... still have a ways to go to be back to parr... Love and kisses, Marilyn  

I spent the day yesterday, laying on the sofa... my sore throat turned into body aches, coughing, stuffed and foggie head and taking Al-ka Se-ltzer Plus they only way that I didn't feel as if I was dieing... don't mean to be overly dramatic, but I felt like crap... I haven't had a cold where I felt this bad in a long time... I don't think I will be able to work today.  I am in the middle of the a-lka sel-tzer so feel a better than when it wares off.  I hope that I did not infect any of my students.  Hope you have a nice day.  Love and kisses, Marilyn

Thank you Lakota Clay for these...  I copied her great post... hope she doesn't mind... I had heard this about eight years ago but I couldn't remember them all.  I am all about touch and affermation...

"The Five Love Languages:  How to express heartfelt commitment to your mate by Gary Chapman.
 
The author says that we are "in love" for a max of two years or so.  At that point it's a "choose to love" situation.  Of course, some folks get so enamoured with the first stage that they simply devour relationships like popcorn.  When it gets stale, they move on...But for the rest of us, there's hope.
 
He says that there are five major categories of true communication between lovers:
 
Physical.  Of course.  But not only the 7-minute esctasy variety, but all kinds of touch.  Massage, holding hands, leaning against one another, playing footsie under the table at the restaurant, hugs, just touching.
 
Quality time.  Spending time together doing projects, hikes, just giving your partner your devoted attention--really listening to what they have to say.  Essential ingredients are:  1) At least one of you wants to do it, 2) the other is wiling to do it, 3) both of you know why you are doing it--to express love by being together.
 
He says that one of the by-products is the creation of a bank of love memories.  "Fortunate is the couple who remembers an early morning stroll along the coast, the spring they planted the flower garden, the time they got poison ivy chasing the rabbit through the woods, the amusement parks, the concerts, the cathedrals, the awe of standing beneath the waterfall after the two mile hike."  Yup.
 
Affirmations.   Encouraging words, to inspire courage in latent talents.  Kind words:  sometimes how we say things makes all the difference.  Humble words: "Love makes requests, not demands." 
 
Gifts.  Of course the expensive ones are great, but even better are the handmade ones.  Or the ones given for no special reason.  The ultimate aim is to make the person feel important, special.  A tangible reminder.
 
Service.  Service is where you do things for someone you love, just because, with no expectation of quid pro quo.  No intimations of either guilt or martyrdom.  Hard to do.
 
And then he says the task is to find out your mate's preferred style(s) of communication and to give them plenty of it.  And while you are at it, figure out what is yours and let them know that, too!"
 
 Let me know what you think...  Marilyn
 

I counted up paged yesterday, pages I have written on my dissertation.  It comes to  284 pages plus 25 pages of appendicies and the bibliography which is now about 10 pages but will get longer... hmmmm ... and still have to or three interviews to write up, finish the introduction and write the conclusion ... hmmmm guess I need to contact my chair and find out if she wants me to do three interviews on each jurisdiction or shorten it to two... that will still make a 350 page dissertation there abouts (unless I cut text)  greeeehhh... I guess my hard work over the summer paid off... 

 

Sort of makes me feel good, sort of makes me confused and nausous that I might be getting close to getting done... I guess that makes me nausous because it will be judgment time. I have pretty much been alone doing my own thing and soon my work will be out there for others to judge...  I am not really concerned that my committee will not like what I have done... but still.  Amazing how in an instant we can go from trugging through to the terror of being almost done.   Another unexpected stumbling block.

 

Woke up with a sore throat... didn't sleep well... hope I am not getting a cold...

 

Have a great one! Love and kisses, Marilyn

I wrote this to Tao on her blog... but thought it merited a posting here..

 

I know that my colleagues are amazed with the progress I have made and work hard to try to keep up with me... (as I work hard to keep up with them).  I have gotten 80% of my writng done for my dissertation...  

 

But I feel I am like the turtle who just keeps plodding along... (don't think I particularly have any sign of brilliance... I don't even think that my topic is supplying any new information at this point which is a worrysome prospect)

 

But this is what I have done to be success so far... and I think these techniques can be use by others with a big project out thre...  I have divided my dissertation into little tasks that are achievable in two or three week increments... focus on the task at hand and not the over all scope of the work... In addition, while I try to write some everyday...  but make sure to take at least one day off a week.  This summer I wrote most of the summer five hours a day, but I took the weekends off and took two vacations when my brain ceased functioning.. 

 

But this fall with school starting iwriting is even harder... Now I have to write three days a week and teach, grade, and read for that class  the other three days... I still start off the morning writing...but my mind turns off by mid afternoon so I do something else, relax in the evening and take every Saturday off.... I could not writing in the evenings to save my life... Much less all night... This is like a long distance run... slow and steady just keep moving.

 

Right now I am in a major conserving energy mode to keep focused on my writing and just plod forward, it is so hard to keep this up after writing for so long, but I keep focused on the daily task to finish this section...

 

Finally this week my end point has come into view... It still is in the distance and I continue to put one foot infront of the other.

 

Anytime you have some big task to tackle... You just need to find the method that works for you... This one works for me... something else may work for you.  Keep up the good work... Love and kisses, Marilyn

Of the forth week of classes... I have finally worked out how to teach, write and swim... I am working on how to grade, but I am having problems fitting in my blogging... hmmm

 

Had a great time last night.  Ellen arranged for five of us to get to gether for stroke work at the outdoor pool.  The weather turned cold and so we changed to Wa-r Mem-orial in door pool on campus.  Only four of us were able to make it... so we did about and hour and a half of stoke work, and swimming and then went to out dinner.  A fun time was had by all.  I haven't seem Judy most of the ummer so it was great to visit with her... Nita is new to me, I swam with her a couple of weeks ago and corrected her stroke and she is swimming so much better.. They are both in their sixties and fun to be with.  Ellen found some corrections on my stroke...all this body work is throwing me out of wack.  It is frustrating to have to continue to adjust my storke, but the last few weeks it wasn't feel right... so I will stop complaining.  

 

I worked on a interview all day yesterday.  I had thought that it was mostly done... it wasn't, but it is now... probably another day and I will have the first draft done... Suzanna sent me the interview she transcribed and it looks really good but a daunting 26 pages single spaced... grrreeehhh  I was able to do the interview (second to the last of the ones I need to do for my dissertation) on Sunday afternoon, so I now need to get that transcribed.... I am getting there... slowly but surly. 

 

Hope you have a great day, Love and kisses, Marilyn 

Got up at 8:00, finished grading my students work by 9:00 and started a new section which I had begun in July... Hope you day is going well.  I am so boring right now... just writing, writing, writing...   Love and kisses, Marilyn  

I wrote most of the day yesterday and finished the first draft of my section on Ohio documents narrative.  Tuesday I will revise it and set it aside... then I can finish Gayles interview... and do Terry's and Ohio will be complete.  I also did one of my last interviews on the phone with a lady from Florida.  That went well.  So I am beginning to feel as if I am starting to go down hill and still not up hill.  Hope you have a good day.   Love and kisses, Marilyn

I was copying my blogs onto my computer so that I could have a record of what I have written here... I am worried that at some point in time this pap that I write may be ... hmmm, probably, will be, lost... and it is a record of the second half of my journey of my Ph.D and of course very important.  Anyway after copying three of four of the latest months... and well, then....  I went... how much have I written... So I added up the pages.... I have written 281 pages in the last year and a half... while on the other hand I  have written about 225 pages on my dissertation in my same time...  hmmmmm  This is so much more fun.  Love and kisses, Marilyn